Five Steps to a Great Relationship

1. Expect less and get more from your partner. Many people assume that conflict is kryptonite to relationships. But it’s actually frustration, Orbuch says. Specifically, frustration forms when a partner’s expectations go unmet, she says. Happy couples have realistic expectations, both about relationships in general and about their relationship in particular. For instance, in her book, Orbuch busts 10 common couples myths. One myth is that healthy couples don’t have conflict. Conflict is inevitable. In fact, according to Orbuch, “If you aren’t having conflict, you aren’t talking about the important issues in your relationship.” Practical tip. Have you and your partner separately write your top two expectations for your relationship (i.e., how you think your partner should treat you; your deal breakers). According to Orbuch, this simple activity allows couples to see what’s important to each other. If your partner isn’t aware of your expectations, how can they meet them? 2. Give incentives and rewards. For the couples in Orbuch’s study, affective affirmation was key to marriage happiness. Affective affirmation is “letting your partner know that they’re special, valued and you don’t take them for granted,” she says. Couples show affective affirmation through words and actions. It’s as simple as saying “I love you” or “You’re my best friend.” Affirmative behaviors can be anything from turning the coffee pot on in the morning for your partner to sending them a sexy email to filling their tank with gas. Contrary to popular belief, men need more affective affirmation than women because women “can get it from other people in our lives,” Orbuch speculates. The key is to give consistent affirmation, she says, ”rather than heaps of it at once.” Practical tip. An affirmation a day can keep a couple happy. Orbuch suggests either saying something affirming to your partner or doing something affirming for them once a day. 3. Have daily briefings for improved communication. Most couples will say that they communicate. But this communication is commonly what Orbuch calls “maintaining the household,” which includes talks about paying the bills, buying groceries, helping the kids with homework or calling the in-laws. Instead, meaningful communication means “getting to know your partner’s inner world,” Orbuch says. “When you’re really happy, you know what makes your partner tick and really understand them.” Practical tip. Practice the 10-minute rule. That involves, “Every single day talking to your partner for at least 10 minutes about something other than four topics: work, family, who’s going to do what around the house or your relationship.” Couples can talk over the phone, by email or in person. The key is to get to know your partner. Not sure what to ask? Orbuch gives these sample topics: “What have you been most proud of this year?” “If you won the lottery, where would you want to travel to and why?” or “What are your top five movies of all time?” 4. Implement change. Every relationship gets into a rut, Orbuch says. Implementing change can help, and there are many ways to do that. One way to implement change is to add something new, she says. “The main idea is to mimic your relationship when you first met one another.” Practical tip. To reduce boredom and keep things fresh, change up your routine. For instance, “Instead of going to the same restaurant, find some new exotic restaurant in the city,” Orbuch suggests. Vacation somewhere new or take a class together. Another strategy is to “do an arousal-producing activity or [an activity that] gives you a surge of adrenal or excitement. What we find is that if you do that activity with your partner, the arousal or adrenaline produced by that other activity can actually get transferred to your partner or relationship.” She suggests exercising together, riding a roller coaster or seeing a scary movie. 5. Keep costs low and benefits high. As Orbuch says, the first four steps focus on adding or bolstering the positives in your relationship. This step focuses on “keeping the costs low.” Based on Orbuch’s study and other literature, a happy couple has a 5 to 1 ratio. That is, they have five positive feelings or experiences to every one negative feeling or experience. It isn’t that you need to approach your relationship with a calculator. But it’s important to “audit” your relationship regularly and consider the “costs and benefits.” Many couples assume that there should be a balance between the pros and cons, but Orbuch gives the following description: If you have “the positives in your right hand and the costly behaviors in your left hand, make sure your right goes way down,” so “The positive things really need to outweigh the negatives.” Orbuch’s research also suggests that there are six top costly behaviors: constant fighting, miscommunication, household chores, jealousy, keeping secrets and not getting along with a partner’s family. Practical tip. You can audit your relationship by essentially making a traditional pros and cons list. Take a piece of paper, and draw a line down the middle. “On the left side, write down all the positive emotions and behaviors connected to your partner and relationship. On the right side, jot down all the negative emotions and behaviors associated with your partner and relationship.” Again, “Make sure the left side is always much longer in length and quantity than the right side.” Ask your partner to do this, too.

10 Tips to a Successful Career Path

1.Know what you want out of life, Be clear about what it is that you want to achieve in your life; about your dreams of what you want to do- then you can put into action a plan that will help you get there!

2.Be the person you truly are. Go after what you want. Sometimes what others want for us is not what we want for ourselves . Be honest with yourself . As Socrates would say.... Know thyself and you will never go wrong.

3.Live for today, but plan for tomorrow , planning for what could be right around the corner is never a bad thing. It's always good to have a plan B. Certainly enjoy every waking moment of your life, but keep a back up plan for you future goal as well.

4. Be your own Visionary. Have your own personal vision for your life and make it real by writing it down and placing it somewhere you will see it everyday. Keep you plan alive by keeping it in you thoughts.

5. Be ambitious! Think action and always be looking out for new opportunities that come your way to better up yourself and what you are doing. Ideas and opportunities sometimes come off the cuff, leave yourself open to see them when they appear ....

6. Learn to adapt . Change is the only thing that remain constant. Change can be your friend so don't run from it- embrace it. Fear is not an option as you move forward.

7. Think Big. Everything you do should be on a grand scale and never settle for less than your personal best.

8. Live outside the box. Think about what could you be doing that others are not doing. Don't be afraid to break free from the pack and run wild with your creative edge.

9. Develope the right mind set. This is the key to your success as your mindset controls your thoughts, feelings and actions. Stay actively possitive as you move in and out of your day. Not everything you do will be liked or accepted, but if you push hard enough one day it might. Quitters never have a chance to win!

10. Built genuine relationship with others.
No one is an island. You need help no matter what you do. Networking is the key to success..

Doors will open that you never thought possible...